-Lots of things can be fixed. Things can be fixed. But many times,
relationships between people cannot be fixed, because they should not be
fixed. You're aboard a ship setting sail, and the other person has
joined the inland circus, or is boarding a different ship, and you just
can't be with each other anymore. Because you shouldn't be..
-When we're incomplete, we're always searching for somebody to complete
us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find
that we're still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with
somebody more promising. This can go on and on--series polygamy--until
we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we,
each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can
provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves
dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we
enter
-I will love you always. When this red hair is white, I will still love
you. When the smooth softness of youth is replaced by the delicate
softness of age, I will still want to touch your skin. When your face is
full of the lines of every smile you have ever smiled, of every
surprise I have seen flash through your eyes, when every tear you have
ever cried has left its mark upon your face,I will treasure you all the
more, because I was there to see it all. I will share your life with
you, Meredith, and I will love you until the last breath leaves your
body or mine, be careful of this
-Even though you may want to move forward in your life, you may have one
foot on the brakes. In order to be free, we must learn how to let go.
Release the hurt. Release the fear. Refuse to entertain your old pain.
The energy it takes to hang onto the past is holding you back from a
new life. What is it you would let go of today?
-Maybe its like you said before, all of us being cracked open. Like each
of us starts out as a watertight vessel. And then things happen - these
people leave us, or don’t love us, or don’t get us, or we don’t get
them, and we lose and fail and hurt one another. And the vessel starts
to crack in places. And I mean, yeah once the vessel cracks open, the
end becomes inevitable. Once it starts to rain inside the Osprey, it
will never be remodeled. But there is all this time between when the
cracks start to open up and when we finally fall apart. And its only
that time that we see one another, because we see out of ourselves
through our cracks and into others through theirs. When did we see each
other face to face? Not until you saw into my cracks and I saw into
yours. Before that we were just looking at ideas of each other, like
looking at your window shade, but never seeing inside. But once the
vessel cracks, the light can get in. The light can get out.”
-Usually adult males who are unable to make emotional connections with
the women they choose to be intimate with are frozen in time, unable to
allow themselves to love for fear that the loved one will abandon them.
If the first woman they passionately loved, the mother, was not true to
her bond of love, then how can they trust that their partner will be
true to love. Often in their adult relationships these men act out again
and again to test their partner's love. While the rejected adolescent
boy imagines that he can no longer receive his mother's love because he
is not worthy, as a grown man he may act out in ways that are unworthy
and yet demand of the woman in his life that she offer him unconditional
love. This testing does not heal the wound of the past, it merely
reenacts it, for ultimately the woman will become weary of being tested
and end the relationship, thus reenacting the abandonment. This drama
confirms for many men that they cannot put their trust in love. They
decide that it is better to put their faith in being powerful, in being
dominant
-People like to say love is unconditional, but it's not, and even if it
was unconditional, it's still never free. There's always an expectation
attached. They always want something in return. Like they want you to be
happy or whatever and that makes you automatically responsible for
their happiness because they won't be happy unless you are ... I just
don't want that responsibility...
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